i have made my decision!  i have chosen to STOP treatments in chemo…living dependently upon chemo indefinitely is not a choice for me.  i am not unlike many in this world whom are suffering from the label and all its unknown consequences “Cancer”.  mine has no cure as of yet…all modern medicine can do for me is extend my life (tho they are not gods and have NO idea for how long) thru maintaining the cancer from growing or spreading but at what cost?  

to live dependently upon something or anything is an attachment i have NO attachment to!  i chose to give chemo a go because of my family.  i wanted to try what the “standard of care” in modern medicine could offer me and what i have learned is that like most situations in this life ONE must take responsibility for themselves!  you cannot “spot” treat one area of your body without affecting the whole body.  this is not rocket science…when i think back on my past as a personal trainer in health/fitness i recalled ALL the clients whom came into my studio wanting, pleading and begging to spot reduce my tummy, or the butt, or just help me lose a little under my arm so it doesn’t sag.  i usually giggled when asked for these modern miracles and then went into my rant about how your physical body does not work that way!  when you treat your physical body to something (drugs, food, exercise….) it effects the entire body!  it has been three weeks since my last chemo infusion…my teeth are still numb, the taste buds are pretty much gone, extreme cold/heat affect the extremities, the scalp still itches (tho my hair is growing back) and many other strange side effects….i rejoice for those whom have had great success in treatment and are here today living meaningful lives.  may all sentient beings have the capacity to a happy and long life!

my parents celebrated their 58th anniversary last week….

i love my dad (79) and mom (81)!

i’ve entered a new journey into alternative and or holistic lifestyle changes: raw foods diet (50% of my intake), vitamins/minerals, herbs, reiki, qigong and my Buddha, Dharma and Sangha!  i started exercise with a 3 mile walk once a week, boot camp for women with cancer once a week and will begin yoga in a couple weeks.  swimming will have to wait till next summer!  i’m a pansy when it comes to cold!!  

live conscientiously people…your happiness depends upon it!


5 Responses to “conscientiously”

  • Megan Beaman (Burns) Says:

    I took this seminar a few weeks ago. a large portion was focused on food healing. i was pretty amazed that we forget the most amazing medicine is provided in the food we eat. and how a lot of the medicine is in the parts of foods we tend to throw away. eventually i would like to do this smoothy drink everyday when i can afford the blender you need to blend things such as avocado pits etc without blowing up my kitchen. anyway, I would check out this website (food healing in particular)… i may be mistaken but I think beets is a power food for cancer in particular. i would love to see you try these protocols… because i would love to see if it would reduce your cancer. i know it’s like “drinking the koolaid” but i must say, id drink this stuff everyday.

    I’m sure Laurel mentioned to you that we got in contact recently. It’s just so nice to be in reach again. i’d love to see you sometime Hazel!


  • Deb Richards Says:

    Good, as always, to read your words. Better, by far, to have heard them direct from your mouth. I feel blessed by the 2 days we spent together in the past week.
    love, always, Deb

  • Diana Yakowitz Says:

    You know my thoughts if you read my email. I think that it is always best to take control yourself instead of just letting things be done without fully embracing those things oneself. I hope you continue to recover from the onslaught that your body has endured. I hope I can join you on your 3 mile walks when I get back into town next month. I miss you. Love you.

  • Diana Yakowitz Says:

    Hazel, found a fellow artist that you might enjoy seeing his work. A lot of his work reminds me of yours or the spirit of your. Thought you might enjoy seeing these.

  • bookbird Says:

    Your life is wonderful art.

    your focus and energy and attention to NOW is beyond words.

    i support your decision, your stand, and your wonderful voice.

    may you be safe
    may you have mental happiness
    may you have physical happiness
    may you live with ease


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