Oct 20 2011

getting on with life!

kuzu is calling me back to get my hands dirty, cut, burned and fit.  my mate and family beckons me to spend more time in closeness and quality.  my spiritual path gently holds me upright and at peace however the urgency to pursue more in my meditation practice is paramount!  time like change is constant. if you would like to hear more from hazel…

the asian welder will post her newest works as they are born here and will hold a showing in march for our 4th anniversary!  

special thanks to the “fan of The Four Noble Truths” whom sends me fresh flowers every other week!!  i love my fresh flowers and i love you whomever you are….hazel.

 


Oct 11 2011

conscientiously

i have made my decision!  i have chosen to STOP treatments in chemo…living dependently upon chemo indefinitely is not a choice for me.  i am not unlike many in this world whom are suffering from the label and all its unknown consequences “Cancer”.  mine has no cure as of yet…all modern medicine can do for me is extend my life (tho they are not gods and have NO idea for how long) thru maintaining the cancer from growing or spreading but at what cost?  

to live dependently upon something or anything is an attachment i have NO attachment to!  i chose to give chemo a go because of my family.  i wanted to try what the “standard of care” in modern medicine could offer me and what i have learned is that like most situations in this life ONE must take responsibility for themselves!  you cannot “spot” treat one area of your body without affecting the whole body.  this is not rocket science…when i think back on my past as a personal trainer in health/fitness i recalled ALL the clients whom came into my studio wanting, pleading and begging to spot reduce my tummy, or the butt, or just help me lose a little under my arm so it doesn’t sag.  i usually giggled when asked for these modern miracles and then went into my rant about how your physical body does not work that way!  when you treat your physical body to something (drugs, food, exercise….) it effects the entire body!  it has been three weeks since my last chemo infusion…my teeth are still numb, the taste buds are pretty much gone, extreme cold/heat affect the extremities, the scalp still itches (tho my hair is growing back) and many other strange side effects….i rejoice for those whom have had great success in treatment and are here today living meaningful lives.  may all sentient beings have the capacity to a happy and long life!

my parents celebrated their 58th anniversary last week….

i love my dad (79) and mom (81)!

i’ve entered a new journey into alternative and or holistic lifestyle changes: raw foods diet (50% of my intake), vitamins/minerals, herbs, reiki, qigong and my Buddha, Dharma and Sangha!  i started exercise with a 3 mile walk once a week, boot camp for women with cancer once a week and will begin yoga in a couple weeks.  swimming will have to wait till next summer!  i’m a pansy when it comes to cold!!  

live conscientiously people…your happiness depends upon it!