in my last post i said “i’m ready to get my head into the game now!” what i came away with from this 15 day experience has nothing to do with my head…but with my heart. their are many levels of “minds” and the one i needed to connect with was my very subtle mind residing within my heart. as we ALL know, academia, intellectual knowledge is wasted without application, and to go a step further in faith one must “feel” it, experience this within the heart. without a heartfelt experience it does not benefit anyone except our minds of self-cherishing or as commonly known the ego! in one of the first teachings the question was asked “do you want to be a theoretical Buddhist or a practical Buddhist?” i had to challenge myself many times and ask sincerely within was i practicing with wisdom or was the awakening enough to go on? the intellectual (gross)mind is very strong for me i have always had great difficulty in just accepting love freely without my judging others reasons or my upbringing views i held onto about expressions of love. i let go my attachments to my old views over the days there and allowed others even strangers show their love without my gross mind getting in the way. how joyous, how liberating and vulnerable the feelings were and still are. i feel as though i grew exponentially with compassion for others due to their kindness!
it sounds so easy what i speak about however it is your intellect, your gross mind interpreting or imputing your perception of what you read above/here. the very subtle mind of compassion is not easy, simple yes in theory, however in true practice of application one has to let go of our ignorance we so dearly hold onto within and that is innate…at least for me!
there were many insights or awakenings to my Buddha nature within, profound teachings, not just from my spiritual guides but from the people present. AND i did not lose one pound even with the daily 2hr walks i took! the lake district outside of the town of Ulverston was home base…a glorious cool 70′s with mist and rain off and on…the sun shone bright most days like blessings.
Manjushri temple, approx. 2600 people in attendance from around the world
the many flowers on the property
lastly…upon return to home i found a package from my relatives in japan. they made me a Senba-Zuru : Senbazuru is a Japanese word meaning “1000 Cranes.” It is well-known for the legend which states that whoever folds 1000 origami cranes will be granted a wish.
i bow to all my kind mothers in this life whom have shown me great compassion, patience, love, kindness and riches beyond the material worlds….tomorrow i begin another new adventure, from the non-deceptive nature of Dharma into the deceptive nature of science. my heart has changed thus so has my mind surrounding this process of chemo, i am more than ready…
Thank you dear kind Venerable Geshe Kelsang Gyatso